


Sight is a faculty; seeing is an art.

by BekahAnais



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angsty bois, Blind Reader, Childhood Trauma, Cliche writer is bad at tags, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Echolocation...sorta, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Force-Sensitive Reader, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Smut, So much smut, ill tag as i go along, pak pak, slow burn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:46:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27685115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BekahAnais/pseuds/BekahAnais
Summary: I hovered there for a while, clearing my mind and feeling the push and flow of the force. Darkness swallowed my mind, a scratchy and one hundred percent creepy voice seeped into my thoughtsRise, Rise above what is holding you back. You are the awakening.My eyes snapped wide open, the noise of several tie fighters sliced through the silence of the night. Fuck. I hopped off my ass immediately, ignoring the now cold tea on the balcony, and got to work shovelling clothes and necessities into a flimsy pack. By now I could feel the shudders of engines whirring closer and a larger unusual craft was descending on the stone arch just across from our home, I didn't know if I should hide or just make a run for it and pray. I landed on running and urgently raced to the front door, I paused.ORBlind force sensitive reader gets taken by the first order and shenanigans ensue..
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Off The Fucking Rails](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21007778) by [oracular_vernacular](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oracular_vernacular/pseuds/oracular_vernacular). 



> Hi guys, this is the first fic I've written in quite some time so please be gentle with me :3
> 
> This story is gonna touch on a lot of things I dont know much about but I was so inspired by oracular_vernacular's story Off The Fucking Rails, which I highly recommend you read btw. I've been researching my ass off but if i get anything incorrect or say anything offensive or harmful to the DID community please dont hesitate to message me or comment on it and I will change it immediately. Im not here to spread hate or misinformation, quite the opposite so please be vocal <3
> 
> I promise I'll try to keep on a regular update schedule if people are interested in the fic or probably even if yall dont like it honestly this fic has been stuck in my head and driving me nuts for so long. Um so yeah, enjoy? xxx

Cato Neimoidia 34 ABY

Busy hums of life jostling around the city caught my attention first, I’ve always loved the journey into the suspended cities. The slow transition from a serene, buzzing rainforest to the complex jumble of merchants, music and tourists. I gave a short smile to the guards patrolling the south gate as I bounded from a harsh gravel underfoot to the smooth, cooling metal that held the whole place together.

I stood privately at the entrance to the market, feeling the energy flowing around me to regain my bearings. I’ve been blind as a bat for most of my life but every so often in my daydreams I remember what it was to have sight, where I was born on Chandrila after the destruction of my parents home planet, Alderaan. It was the most ethereal planet, everything glistened with untapped potential and a boundless sanguinity. I sighed inaudibly, my parents told me to forget that life, I was never to speak of my parentage for fear of capture by the First Order.

Despite my lack of sight I have never seen the world more wholly. I’ve never truly understood my connection to the force, my parents seem rather frightened of it, alas I can conjure an image of my present simply by feeling slight echoes in the force from the life around me. Everything is interwoven in an intricate web of pure, bright energy. My head snapped around to a ruckus deeper in the market, shaking me out of my own mind.

I set off in a light jog to where the fight had broken out, strings of pak pak curses and accusations flew across the marketplace, guards had already descended on the aggressor and chucked him clear across the square into a small vegetable stand. I could feel the anxiety and pain rolling off a neimoidian man hunched in the corner, a metallic scent tinged the air around him.

“Eer va werr?” When we fled to this planet I was young so I picked up their native language pretty fast, with the help of a suped up vocoder to imitate their throat noises.

“Myo vould reek to rae down” He choked out, must have been a nasty concussion.

“Ees a doktur ear?” I shouted, hoping someone around would know what to do. I could almost feel the silence in the square, everyone exchanging blank stares.

“EES A DOKTUR EAR?” 

\------------------Translation---------------------  
Eer va werr => Are you well/alright?  
Myo vould reek to rae down => I would like to lay down ( I changed it slightly cause it was a tinge racist imo)  
Ees a doktur ear? => is there a doctor here?  
Myo a doctor => I am a doctor  
\------------------Translation---------------------

“Myo a doktur!” I finally heard someone say, a elderly human rounded the corner slowly. As he approached I turned my attention back to the merchant who was getting more agitated by the second. Gently I skimmed his mind, not to probe his deepest memories, I’ve always thought that as an invasion of privacy, but just to ensure he wasn’t gravely injured. It was mostly just anger, anger, stress, fear, pain, Chandrila, Chandrila? A flash image of my parents appeared in his mind, then more jumbled emotions and the First Order. Shit.

I sprang up and away from the merchant, his fear more ever present in the air, or maybe it was mine. At a quick pace I walked away from the incident so not to alert the guards but to get the hell out of there as fast as possible, worry for the merchant's health quickly disappeared as I picked up speed out of the marketplace. That neimoidian is going to report my parents to the First Order, or maybe me, I heard they were hunting down force sensitive people but I’d always kept it well hidden. My thoughts tumbled around my head in such a flurry I wasn’t focusing on my surroundings, I knocked into person after person as I neared the gatekeepers whispering a string of nonsensical apologies. 

As the overwhelming noises of the city died down on the outskirts I took a deep breath, pausing to ground myself again before breaking out into a sprint and making for the rail crawler port. The old Empire rail crawlers were recommissioned as transport for natives across the vast acid lakes below the massive rock arches that held the bridge cities in suspension. I slowed when I neared the platform, searching for signs of a crawler approaching. YES! Thank the force, my fried nerves calmed ever so slightly as I heard a crawler grinding to a stop in front of me.

The journey back home was a short one but my thoughts and fears keeping me so occupied that I nearly missed the platform entirely.

I got into the house and immediately flopped onto my bed, what the fuck do I do. My parents were off planet visiting an old friend in the resistance, despite their forced retirement (because of me) they still helped out where they could for the cause. I couldn't contact them and the only person I know on this planet other than them is dead, for the first time our hiding from the First Order felt truly real and truly fucking scary. 

“Nobody knows where we live” I said to myself, hoping if I heard it out loud it would calm my anxiety. “Nobody knows where we live” I felt myself calm ever so slightly. I flung my legs off the side of the bed and heaved myself into the kitchen to brew a tarine tea. 

With the warm mug in hand I wandered aimlessly around our hut, I’d gotten to know the place so well I didn't even need to use the force to see where I was ambling so I could fully relax and just disappear into a world of my own. I decided the best course of action was to just sit on our balcony and meditate, the spot overlooks the vast expanses of our small planet and catches the sunset perfectly, or so my parents say.

I hovered there for a while, clearing my mind and feeling the push and flow of the force. Darkness swallowed my mind, a scratchy and one hundred percent creepy voice seeped into my thoughts

_Rise, Rise above what is holding you back. You are the awakening._

My eyes snapped wide open, the noise of several tie fighters sliced through the silence of the night. Fuck. I hopped off my ass immediately, ignoring the now cold tea on the balcony, and got to work shovelling clothes and necessities into a flimsy pack. By now I could feel the shudders of engines whirring closer and a larger unusual craft was descending on the stone arch just across from our home, I didn't know if I should hide or just make a run for it and pray. I landed on running and urgently raced to the front door, I paused.

I felt a presence, more than just another life form, this being ebbed and flowed with the force almost as if they were the force. Shit, I’d heard rumour that the First Order has an incredibly powerful force user, I’d heard frightened hollow people recount tales of suffering and the horrific butchery of their towns and homes. I knew deep down that I was probably going to die at the hands of this person tonight but I pushed that thought away and ran down the side of the house out of the eye line of the First Order. Adrenaline started pouring into my veins like ice water, urging me down the precarious steps of the rockface, every time a stone would slip from under my feet I yelped ever so slightly but forcing myself to stay silent and keep moving. 

As the coordinated march of troopers loomed ever closer I panicked more and more, losing my grip on the force and subsequently my surroundings. I landed on the base of the rock formation and made for the rail crawler platform only to get sucker punched in the stomach by a trooper who was laying in wait behind the brush, as I stumbled backwards I choked on gulps of thick, humid air. I couldn’t put my thoughts in order so I stepped back, leaning on the force to guide me, with an outstretched hand I pulled a chunk of the rock face down onto a small squadron of troopers. More descended the stairs and replaced the last few. Cut off one head I guess.. 

Blaster fire opened up causing me to dive behind a nearby tree, the wood splintered like butter above my head.

“Cease fire” A deep, commanding voice declared. My breaths became more and more laboured as I crouched in the bush, fear consumed me as they all circled around my hiding place. The soft moss and leaves withered under the heavy steps that approached me, I tucked my head between my knees and willed myself to wake up, this is just a dream, this is just a dream. Surely it was a dream because just as the force user rounded the corner my mind went blank, everything drifted away into a tranquil unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - violence against the reader

Supremacy 34 ABY

When I woke up the next morning I yawned greedily, very swiftly realising that the air around me was frigid and too still. I made to stretch and get up but my ankles and wrists were strapped to an uncomfortably vertical table, panic started to set in fast as I reached around the room to figure out what was happening. Shit, it wasn't a dream, was it even morning? I was alone in the box room, fortunately, I let my head drop back down onto the metal headrest, if you can even call it a headrest, and took a breath.  
_Not injured, check_  
_Trapped in a tiny box, check_  
_Probably not even on Cato anymore, check_  
_Scared shitless, check_

I pushed against my restraints a little knowing full well it was futile.

 _Oh good, you’re awake._ The same deep voice from yesterday said in my head, what the fuck, although it wasn’t as modulated as last time you heard it and a little bit skittish?

I got drastically more stressed out from hearing voices in my head, that was never a good sign. As quickly as I tried to process what was going on someone entered the room, he had the same force signature as the man you felt yesterday but somehow slightly off. My whole body tensed unconsciously as he cautiously stepped closer to me.

“Do you speak basic?” I nodded gingerly. “How are you feeling? I hope he didn't hurt you too much” he?

“Why the fuck would you care, where am I, take me home” I managed to force out without stuttering on my nerves.

“I’m sorry doll I can’t let you go just yet and he doesn’t know I’m here, I’m so sorry for all of this.” Surprisingly he did sound genuinely apologetic but that did nothing to quell the anger I now had a target for.

“Look we are trying to help, we” he trailed off, I probed into his mind to figure out how the fuck to get out of here but it was all a hazy mess as if his mind was stuck in a thick fog. Fuck. He slowly backed towards the door, mumbling something you couldn't quite catch. I couldn't help but follow his energy as he walked out and away from the room, something about him was curious and almost, sweet?  
Nope, nope you are not worrying about your captor, what the fuck is wrong with your brain.

A few hours passed slowly, despite the life threatening circumstances I was honestly just getting bored, even staring down a force user with a lightsaber would be better than counting how many rivets are on the wall panels for the hundredth time. I must have manifested something because I heard a small pop of air and the door to my box slid open smoothly. Four sets of footsteps entered the small space and once again I felt a cold fear creep up my spine before that inky darkness overtook my consciousness. 

My feet were dragging lazily across the ground, bumping every so often where metal sheets were fused together into a cohesive floor. I could hear the metronomical march of armoured boots hitting the ground around me, the vibrations beginning to irritate a dull ache behind my eyes. I let myself get pulled further down the endless maze of corridors as my mind was still too foggy to try to cobble an escape plan together. The force began washing over me as I regained more of myself back and I could slowly start to see the cold titanium walls piece together in my mind’s eye, thick beams supporting the vaulted ceilings. The man at the front of my convoy took a sharp left and the troopers pulling me along followed suit, the energy in this room was deafening. The force crackled like lightning in the vast hall, the focal point being a haunting throne with a deformed humanoid perched upon it like a god of his own design. 

I was still lost in the grandiose of the immense room when I was unceremoniously dropped on my knees in front of the throne, a sharp but short lived pain shot through my femur. The tension in the room was palpable, there were roughly eight praetorian guards and a handful of troopers who were now filtering towards the exit.

“How curious, the way you wield the force. I can feel that you are strong with the force but it is wasted on something as weak as you” I grew cold at the malice in his voice, he raised a gnarled finger and beckoned me towards him. I sat in place, not out of brave tenacity but sheer terror.

“I-, I juust want t.. to get home. P- pl ease” I surprised myself at my ability to produce any words at that moment, I could feel he was getting more and more agitated the longer I cowered on the floor. A rough boot pressed between my shoulder blades and shoved me across the room, _so much for being sweet_ , I thought privately. I was splayed out at the foot of the throne now, holding my weight on my elbows and the side of my thigh. 

“Thank you, Apprentice” the stony voice echoed “As for you, you have no home any longer. You are a threat to our First Order and your parents are traitors. You will die by the cruelest stroke.”

My stomach turned as he raised his hand, he lifted me effortlessly with the force. Slowly but surely I was finding it harder to suck air into my lungs, a vice grip at my throat kept me suspended and on display. I could feel myself slipping from reality as tears started to prick my eyes, I thought of my parents and the uncertainty they would face not knowing if I was alive or dead. I thought of my home planet and all my old friends I knew before we escaped to Cato Neimoidia, hot tears stung my cheeks where they flowed freely. I choked against his grip, desperately trying to plead for air. 

“Supreme leader Snoke, she might be of more use to us than originally thought” the masked apprentice spoke up. Snoke turned his sour gaze to the apprentice without releasing his hold even an inch. There was a brief moment of silence before he continued.

“Her abilities with the force mean she may be an asset, I could train her and we could use her for the First Order instead of her being a threat” despite him arguing to save my life he still sounded so cold and distant, as if I am just a weapon for him to use. Snoke held me suspended for a few quiet seconds before dropping me to the floor yet again, my knees were in the bloody wars today. I choked and spluttered as the air rushed into my lungs, my throat felt so raw I wouldn’t be surprised if I had gotten a bruise from the invisible hand. 

“You will oversee her progress personally but know that if I sense anything I disapprove of or any signs that she will betray us, you will kill her personally Kylo Ren.” Snoke almost spat the words out with such disdain, my skin crawled at the way he eyed me. 

I had almost caught my breath when Kylo Ren gripped my forearm and pulled me off the floor towards the way we came in. The further away from that awful hall we got the more relief I felt, but as quickly as that came confusion and paranoia set in. Why had Kylo Ren shown me such mercy? I had heard such terrible things and I had experienced him hunt me down like an animal, why save me when it was so much easier for him to just let me die. I couldn’t help but let my curious nature get the better of me..

“Why did you do that?” I asked, my voice was still raspy and broken from the abuse mere minutes ago. He remained stoic whilst marching at a pace that had me bounding every few steps to keep up. 

“Where are we? And where are you taking me”

“You’re on the Supremacy, a Mega-class Star Dreadnought.” He didn’t even look back at me when he spoke, as if I was just another inconvenient task to him. I’m a self proclaimed twat when I want to be and people looking down on me, whether it be because I’m a woman or just because I’m blind, is number one on the list of shit I don’t put up with.

“So what’s up with the name Kylo Ren?” I made sure to put a sarcastic deep twang on his name. “Surely that can’t be your birth name.. Or did your parents just really hate you?” I poked, rhetorically. Before I could even realise it was clearly the wrong button to press I was being slammed into the wall, my trachea being crushed for the second time in the past half hour. My eyes went wide and my jaw slack as he brought his face close enough to mine that I would have felt his breath on my cheek if not for that mask.

“That would be none of your business little one, and if you even think of speaking again till we get to your dormitory I won't hesitate to snap your neck like a twig. Understood?” I nodded silently as he set me down and my hands instinctively went to rub my swollen throat. Force, that better not awaken anything in me...

I walked two steps behind the giant of a man, making sure to heed his warning and stay as noiseless as possible. His whole energy swallowed the room and I couldn’t help but wonder what led him down this dark path. I thought back over the events of today, so much had happened I haven’t even had time to fully accept what was falling apart around me. I’m not even sure where to begin, I don’t even know if I want to train with the force or if I even have the luxury of choice. Kylo Ren seemed pretty certain about it and from what Snoke threatened it sounds like the only other option was death, honestly at this point death doesn’t sound half bad. I placed my hand hesitantly around my throat again, hissing slightly under my breath at the dull pain that radiated around it. 

“Meet me in training room 7 tomorrow at 0600” I hadn’t even realised he had stopped at a door until I was almost face first into his well built torso. 0600, jesus. He turned and began marching away without so much as a glance or a goodbye.

“Wait how do I get there?” I tried to shout after him for some semblance of a clue but my hoarse voice only travelled so far, and then he was gone. Fuck, that’s gonna be a bitch tomorrow morning.

I looked around the door for a handle or any sign of a way to get in, my hand dragging along the frame. Suddenly the door shot open, startling me ever so slightly, I scanned over where my hand grazed a small pad that could have been a print scanner. Huh, neat. I stepped into the small space, around me I could feel the loneliness of the room, just enough space for a single regulation bed, a tiny dresser and a mirror. Waste of perfectly good wall space in my humble opinion. There was a small door to the right of where I stood in the entrance to my new tiny box, I searched for another scanner. Ah. Lo and behold, a cramped refresher, better than sharing with others I supposed. With nothing to unpack I shifted out of my grim clothes, letting the ruined material pool at my feet. I reached for the small dresser, hoping to find a towel or something of the sort. I sighed gratefully as I plucked a towel out of the top drawer, it was scratchy and cheap but what can a girl expect from a terrorist organization. 

The shower was almost scalding but I didn’t mind as I mindlessly scrubbed the dirt and fear of the day off my wound up muscles, my thoughts were anywhere but here as I puzzled over what to do next. I started to wander to the memory of Kylo, pressing his weight against me and pinning me to the wall. His musky scent filled my lungs as his presence swallowed me entirely, heat began to bloom in my stomach. I was launched out of my disloyal thoughts as the water turned icy and immediately re-knotted all the stress the hot water had washed out of my sore muscles. Irked, I got out of the shower and wrapped the itchy towel around my plump frame. I reached into the cabinet above the mirror to look for hygiene supplies and got to work bitterly brushing my teeth. 

When I was satisfied that I was clean and reset I dropped down onto the surprisingly soft bed, I was expecting a rock for a mattress or the pillow to be filled with snakes or something childish like that. I drifted off faster than I expected after such a traumatic day, I think my brain was just as eager to be unconscious as my body was. Bring on the second worst day of my life....

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading :)


End file.
